Duck Tales
by Jesfrealo
Summary: What can I say? All the boys are here and one little lady...duck.


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Duck Tales

By: Jesfrealo

Rating: G

Disclaimer: I don't 'em {whimper}. I'm not making any money either-who'd pay for these things?

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QUACK!

Though the sound was shrill in his mind he still had the logic to know that to everyone else who could here it was simply a quack, regardless of how out of place that particular sound might have been. Part of him found himself genuinely hoping that perhaps there was a _LOGICAL _explanation, or at the very least it was someone else's team for once. However common sense prevailed as the elevator neared Team Sevens floor-also the rise in the volume of the quacking and the cheers clued him off-it was never anyone else's team anyway. So, he braced himself for whatever stunt they pulled this time. And only two questions remained, Why did they have a duck? And what were they doing to the poor thing?

~*~  


"Common Duckie, Duckie, Duckie!" JD Dunne called as the duck wandered around inside the slightly lopsided chalk circle drawn hastily on the bull pin floor.

"Name ain't 'Duckie', JD," Vin corrected sounding just a little upset that JD wasn't using the Duck's proper name.

"Oh, and what is his name?" JD returned defensively.

"_HER _name," Vin began, "is Lola."

"I think not Mr. Tanner," Ezra still managed to say regally despite their current topic of conversation.

"Oh, and what is it, Ez?" Vin asked irately.

"Well, if you must know, the lady in questions name happens to be Margaret."

"Margaret…That's a dumb name…" Vin began.

"No dumber then Lola," JD piped in still a little upset with Vin. "Come on Duck, come here," He called to the Duck still hoping to capture its attention enough to get the little lady to go over to him.

"Thank-you, Mr. Dunne," Ezra looked at the young man before saying, "Here Margaret, come here, come to Ezra, I've got lots of crackers…"

"Hey, nobody said anything about being able to bribe little Quackers here…" Buck Wilmington declared, "Your such a cheater, Ez, I think we should throw 'im out of the contest!"

"No Mr. Wilmington, nobody said _ANYTHING_ about bribing-either way-so I see no applicable reason why I should not be able to do so," He thought for a minute before adding, "Oh, and Mr. Wilmington, her name is Margaret."

"No, it's Lola."

"Quackers."

"Duckie."

"Children, Children," Josiah called from his side of the circle, "I can solve this little disagreement."

"Yeah!" JD called somewhat happily that justice would finally be served and Duckie would finally be proclaimed as her rightful name.

"You are all wrong, her name in Penelope and that's just all there is to it," Josiah finished with an air of smug confidence that made everyone there just want to slug him. "Come here Miss Penelope…" Josiah began called to the bright yellow duck that continued to wander aimlessly around the circle.

"No Josiah," Nathan spoke with his usual calm, "Her name is Clementine."

"Look the names don't really matter anyway, whoever gets her to come to them should get to name her whatever they want-I mean if she gets to be theirs then they should get to name her anyway. Right?" JD spoke just wanting Duckie and not really caring about fighting over the name. Duckie was her name and when she came to him she would get her rightful name.

"Agreed."

"Okay."

"Alrighty."

"Sounds good."

"Right."

~*~

He watched baffled, as he hid himself behind Buck's desk at the far end of the office, that these were the same men that just yesterday made one of the biggest drug busts in Denver's history. They'd worked in perfect detail and unison, like a well-oiled machine. Nothing had been out of place. They'd gone up against the most dangerous gang in Denver and the gang members were the only ones that got hurt. Team Seven's celebrity status was rising quickly. According to many, yesterday was simply a testament to how good they were. If only the country could see them now. If only those drug dealers and gang members could see them now. I wonder what they'd be thinking? The men that took them down without even breaking a sweat, fighting over a duck. Of all the things they pick to fight over, of all the things they pick to do one their lunch-break they decide 'oh, yeah lets fight over a duck'. Yeah, sounds like fun to me. Sometimes I really do wonder about them. Come to think of it, it'd probably have a harder time thinking of times when I don't think about the stupidity, or their downright insanity. 

~*~

"Okay," Nathan began now that they had reconvened and were prepared to go at their duck-calling once more, all the while completely unaware of Chris Larabee's current whereabouts (so near by) or his musings. "Now on the count of three I'll set down Clementine Lola Margaret Duckie Quackers Penelope and we all can start calling," He finished as he set the duck down in the center and quickly walked away to take his own place at the edge of the circle.

"ONE."

"TWO."

"THREE, GO."

"Here, Duckie, Duckie…"

"Come on Clementine…"

"Come get your fill of crackers, Margaret, come to me…"

"I got better crackers here, Quackers…"

"Lola, come on home ta me, I got more bread 'n' crackers then you'll ever be able ta eat…"

"Come here, sweet little Penelope…"

~*~  


It was too much, just too much. He could no longer stand it honestly. These were grown men, cops for goodness sake. What _WERE_ they doing?!! He had to put it to an end before he completely lost his mind.

"Alright, that's enough!" 

"Umm…Chris…what 'r' you doing here?" Vin asked sheepishly, looking quite a bit like a deer caught in headlights. 

"What do you think I'm doing here, Vin?" 

Vin was about to try to come up with an answer that didn't make him seem like a complete idiot, but nothing really came to mind that would provide him with that effect. However his thinking on the subject was put to a rather abrupt halt when out of absolutely nowhere the duck that had had utterly no interest in any one of them ran like a flash out of the chalked up circle. As she ran the sound of webbed feet and the less than subtle QUACKS that followed her signaled rather spectacularly her run to a surprising place. Her little webbed duck feet stopped in front a fuming Chris Larabee. She looked up at him with a quack as if expecting him to answer her. 

Finally regaining some semblance of decorum, Josiah stood and smiled at their own antics and the antics of their friend and said in his deep, soothing baritone, "Looks like our little feathered friend has found her home," he said still smiling as he walked away. 

They all followed, as Chris stood somewhat dumbfounded. Him looking at the duck and the duck looking at him. It was then that the words hit him. "…A home…" was all he could get out.

"Yeah, we all found her this mornin', and we all wanted her but we couldn't make up our minds so he figured on lettin' her choose." Nathan said. "She chose you."

"But…I mean one of you could have her," Chris stammered sounding nothing like himself.

"Naw, she's already had a pretty traumatic life Chris," Buck stated, "wouldn't wanta scar her more. Ya wouldn't let her starve would ya?"

"Na, Chris would never do that," JD said seriously as he displayed his confidence in his hero with a childlike enthusiasm that Chris simply couldn't allow to be broken.

"Of course I won't JD…"

"Good," said JD, "here's her leash."

"Leash?"

"Yup," Vin answered half grinning, half smirking at the expression on his best friend's face.

Chris made an audible noise that could only be described as something between a moan and a groan. Chris began to walk away.

"Chris ya should leash on her, so ya can bring her into your office. Ya wouldn't want to lose her, would ya?" JD asked with that same enthusiasm that didn't seem nearly as endearing to Chris as is had such a short time ago.

"No, wouldn't want ta lose this little gem," Chris answered his voice just dripping with sarcasm so thick you could cut through it with a knife.

"What are ya gonna name her, Chris?" JD asked still absolutely enthused. 

"Oh, I don't know, JD," Chris said with something akin to a sadistic smile on his face, "maybe I'll name her Iyedaltayad."

"What's that, Japanese?" 

"No that's If You Ever Do Anything Like This Again You All Die," With that he walked away, duck leash hanging from his hand and little Iyed following behind, but not before turning and giving them all a defiant quack.

Author's Note: Okay, so I've been under some stress lately. Please review!! 


End file.
